I said I was making a short film? Oh right…

We all know the feeling. A new idea or project tickles our brain and lets the delusion in. It prompts us to make things with nothing but audacity and a crazy expensive camera package. I’ve felt this fleeting motivation many times the last few years; completely forgetting that it is fleeting...

In 2023, I made the opportunity to direct a short script I wrote titled Hard Feelings. The set went scarily smooth with no major problems. But flash forward to now where an assembly cut is on a hard drive collecting dust. What the fuck happened? Truth is, I didn’t realize there’s a ticking clock on all projects you start, whether you realize it or not. You see, with any creative endeavor, your passion for it lowers over time.

Suddenly all the choices you made years ago feel amateurish and those days off feel better suited to other, more deserving, projects. This unfortunately has happened with a few projects of mine, including Hard Feelings. What once was ambition slowly changed into cynicism.

So what’s going to happen to Hard Feelings?

I honestly don’t know. Everyone who worked on it deserves to see what they put effort into. But I need to be honest with myself, this is not a priority for me at this time. Perhaps it’s best to scrap it for parts and give the cast & crew clips for their reels. Something that many filmmakers refuse to do for some reason (Yes, that was shade). Maybe one day that spark will be reignited, but until then I will be deflecting <3.

As I stand on my project graveyard, I’ll look on the bright side. With each attempt, I’ve grown enough as an artist to point out missteps of my previous ideas.

So ultimately, I write this not to scare you, but as a helpful warning to all who feel the delusion creep into their mind. Yes, do the thing! However, realize the motivation is fleeting, especially when doing creative shit on the side.