Some Days There Ain’t No Fish
aka These Fishes Ain’t Shit
aka Networking These Days
There I was at my third party of the night at Sundance. It was of typical affair; with expensive swag, an open bar, and a sea of hopeful fishies looking for the ocean. Unlike the other brunches I attended, there was a tension in the air. I took a big sniff. While the overtones included espresso martinis and dubai chocolate puffs, the undertones were sour. Wafting off a few people in the crowd was the scent of desperation.
Networking feels very transactional these days. The new type of fish often saunters around with a narrow focus on people with film badges (or Rolexes). Unprompted, these so called artists spill their guts about an undeveloped project with expectations for either a compliment or an instant check. Within three questions they can size you up and swim away. In fact, once it’s discovered you’re not their next meal ticket, it doesn’t matter what was being said after. They avoid eye contact and look for a swift exit from the conversation.
Admittedly, I used to play into these conversations (As an instructor, being encouraging is part of the job). But around my third espresso martini, I felt my social battery begin to deplete. Against my better judgement I decided to keep chatting with some writer-director who REEKED. All at once my eyes lowered and my tone became cynical. I realized, Damn, I don’t give a fuck about your dreams actually. From then on I started being realistic. No we’re not ever getting lunch together, I can smell it, and we’ll never go back.
Unlike these new fish, I try to approach networking with the mindset that not every person I talk to will want to help on my projects (nor am I required to help them on theirs). While it feels like common sense, people are often blinded when in the heat of things. It takes a lot of time, money, and risks to get into the parties. With finite resources to make stuff, people don’t feel like they have the time to actually foster relationships. So instead of a good conversation, a large weight is placed on each interaction.
Networking should be pleasurable, fun even. The main purpose isn’t to be slimy, or to pillage someone’s resources. It all comes down to a simple vibe check. Does this person share the same interests and goals as me? Do we approach problems in a similar way? Can we have a conversation that flows naturally? These are questions to ask yourself as you interact. Also, we need to stop taking these parties so seriously. There will ALWAYS be another party, another event, another spot to schmooze in. By approaching networking events with an understanding that not every fish is going to have a pearl in its gullet, I find it easier to make contacts. Again, people can smell desperation. Once they know you want to use them, their defenses go up. Be kind and let what’s meant for you materialize naturally.
Okay, so I was being emo. With some distance my cynical nature subsided and I realized that the Sundance party wasn’t all that bad. People are so cool when you get past the desperate fishies. After dealing with so many seekers, I actually found some cool people in the crowd. A young professor who’s gunning to be an actress in Texas, a first AD with great thrifting skills, and a pretty famous actor who lives in the same city as me. Just by leisurely chatting, I ended up making great connections that felt natural. And that’s the way it should be. In the future, I’ll attend more parties of course. But with a roster of filmmakers in my contact list, from years of chatting with no pretenses, I can focus on what really matters… the open bar and a fourth martini.***
